What If...?

Everyone has thought of a “what if” moment before. You know, what if I had done something different in my life? What if I had not said that stupid thing that my friends overheard? What if I had completed my graduate degree before getting married? What if I had not bought a house right before getting married? What if I had not changed jobs? What if I had children earlier in life? What if…?

In Janis Joplin’s song “Bobby McGee” she says that she would “trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday.” What if…? What if you could go back and change one of your “what if” moments? Growing up I used to think about that very scenario. As a child, I wanted desperately to change the past. I wanted to go back and say the right words that would have convinced my father to not commit suicide. But as I grew older and became a Christian, I began to realize what I would have to trade in order for this scenario to come true. I would have to give up my baby brother, who was born four years after my father’s death. Would I give him up? Could I give him up? It was then that I began to understand the “Butterfly Effect” of life. In order to change one scenario, you cannot have the present stay the same.

Today, as I was rocking my sweet little girl to sleep, I thought to myself “what if?” Here I am, in my 30s, married, with a 9 month old daughter, a missionary in language school, soon to be in Africa. But what if…?  And it was then I realized I don’t really want to know. I cannot possibly imagine a life without my soul mate, the man of my dreams who completes me as a person. I would never want to picture my life without my precious baby. I don’t think I would be the same person I am today without the things that have happened to me in the past, in the order they happened, both good and bad. Many times we have curious thoughts, thinking “what if?” But you know what? I no longer care about “what if” because I am content where I am.

In class the other day, we read Psalms 139 (in French) and talked about why it was important to us (in French). Although my lack of knowledge of the right words (in French) might have prevented me from truly expressing myself, I still managed to get my point across: This verse helped me when I was pregnant by knowing that even if the baby was not to be, God had a plan.

God made us, He knows us, nothing is hidden from him, we cannot depart from his presence, and as impure and imperfect as we are, we can always delight in Him when we follow His will. Why spend time wondering what could have been, when instead we can praise God for what could be!

139 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
 You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
…. For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.

Happiness is...

"...We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

-Declaration of Independence, July 4th, 1776

HAPPINESS!!!

Here in Québec, Canada, we have a TV, but it only receives 1 channel. We never watch it (even if we did, at this point in our French learning we wouldn't understand much of it). When we returned to East Tennessee for our Christmas break, we watched TV for the first time in nearly 4 months. Even after this short amount of time, we found our perspective had changed. We weren't a big fan of commercials before, but now we realized at the heart of it, the only reason we were watching a program was because we paid them to tell us what we needed to buy so we could feel fulfilled and happy. Over and over, we were bombarded with the message that we should chase our own happiness with reckless abandon.

This is a big trap many people have fallen prey to (myself included); the trap is believing the world’s definition (more specifically the U.S. definition) of what it means to be happy or successful. My wife and I fell for this lie. At one point, we felt “successful” and we were, by the standards of many. We had a nice home, above average income, two cars, a big yard, a TV, a dishwasher, 2 dogs and so much stuff stored in the attic and basement that we didn't have any more room. And yet, happiness and contentment eluded us. God asked us to step away from our cushy jobs and re-evaluate where we placed our identity. Voilà! We wound up in international ministry.

One of the neat things about the journey into international missions is learning a new language.  Many phrases and idioms of one particular language translate-but with a slightly different twist.  An excellent example is the Beatitudes in Matthew 5.  In English, many versions read “blessed are the poor in spirit, mournful, meek, etc., etc.”  In French, however, it reads “happy are the poor in spirit, happy are those who mourn, the meek, etc.” Hmm. That’s different.  All in all, “happy” is mentioned roughly 30 times in the bible and only about half were about how to be happy.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:12-13).  

 Don't miss understand me, there is absolutely nothing wrong  with pursuing the things so eloquently written in the Declaration of Independence. Indeed many times throughout the Bible material things are blessings from the Lord, it's even more OK to be thankful for them. Certainly the "Smack Chop" or "Sponge-wow" are great products that can make life easier, but realize that inanimate objects and certain life styles are not things to give us an identity. 

The world is desperately searching to find its identity, the meaning of life….It will continue to fail miserably so long as its identity is tied to possessions or a certain life style. I am afraid as the world seeks to finds its identity outside of Christ, the more we as Christians will be influenced to do the same. Happiness and fun are not our priority, Christ is our priority. Instead of searching for happiness, we must search to first and foremost "...seek first his kingdom an his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:24).