Ode to Motherhood

Here is a poem I wrote (while thinking of the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie).

If you finish nursing your baby, you’re going to want to re-fasten your nursing top.

If you re-fasten your nursing top, you’re going to want to set the baby down on her nursing boppy.

If set the baby down on her nursing boppy, she’s going to spit up.

If the baby spits up on the nursing boppy, you’re going to want to clean her up.

If you clean the baby up, you’re going to want to set her on down on the bed on a clean burp cloth.

If you set the baby down on the bed, you’re going to want to clean her nursing boppy.

If you clean the baby’s nursing boppy, she’s going to spit up on the bed bypassing her burp cloth.

If the baby spits up on the bed, you’re going to want to clean her up.

If you clean the baby up, you’re going to want to set her up against a pillow on a clean burp cloth.

If you set the baby up against a pillow, you’re going to want to clean your bed.

If you clean up your bed, the baby’s going to spit up on the pillow bypassing her burp cloth.

If the baby spits up on the pillow, you’re going to want to clean her up.

If you clean the baby up, you’re going to want to set her on down on the blanket on a clean burp cloth.

If you set the baby down on a blanket, you’re going to want to clean up the pillow.

If you clean up your pillow, the baby’s going to spit up on the blanket bypassing her burp cloth.

If the baby spits up on your blanket, you’re going to want to clean her up.

If you clean the baby up, you’re going to want to sigh loudly to wake the husband.

If you sigh loudly to wake the husband, he will ignore you.

If the husband ignores your sighs, you’re going to want to poke him.

If you poke the husband, he’s going to wake up.

If the husband wakes up, you’re going to want to hand him the burp cloth and baby.

If you hand the husband the burp cloth and the baby, he’s going to want to burp the baby.

If the husband burps the baby, the baby is going to want to spit up.

If the baby spits up, you’re going to need more burp cloths as the baby cries in hunger.

If the baby cries in hunger, the husband is going to hand the baby back to nurse.

If the husband hands the baby back to nurse, you’re going to want to set up in bed.

If you set up in bed, you’re going to realize your bed, blanket, and pillow are wet.

If you realize your bed, blanket, and pillow are wet, you’re going to want to complain.

If you complain it will be at the sleeping husband while your baby finishes nursing.

If you finish nursing your baby, you’re going to want to re-fasten your nursing top.